Friday, March 26, 2010

Forward

It’s been almost an entire month since my last posting, and ugh… what a month. I’ll spare you the gory details and any suspense of that which kept me from you, other than to say that the usual things that conspire to eviscerate my dreams of weight loss have NOT… I repeat… NOT overcome me.

I am still on program… mostly. Bad planning on my part (or rather wishful thinking in terms of my ability to consume everything my kind friends gave me) left me with only inedible foods for the last week and half and I was forced to live mainly on “real” food.

Dear LORD! Wise choices this early in the game?! Absolutely! Despite some of the most ungodly stress, I managed to not go nuts (i.e. large pots of macaroni and cheese or loads of bread or pasta).

Have I always made the right ones? Nope. Sure haven’t. But even when I made a couple naughty decisions that I knew weren’t the best, a good result yielded from that choice. Either I realized that I don’t “need” whatever it was that I felt like I had to have; or not having had it in my system for a while meant that the experience of eating it, and it’s presence in my body, was a tremendously different feeling than it used to be. When you’re not consuming mountains of salt or sugar and you suddenly introduce something extremely high in either content back into your body, I guarantee, if you’re not in a coma… you’re going to notice the effect in a deeply significant way. Suffice it to say, I am officially over In-N-Out burgers. I wasn’t that big of a fan before. Now, they’re dead to me.

Little side tangent here… there’s a “Healthy Express” drive thu a couple of blocks from the pottery studio I belong to. I drive past it every time I go in and wonder how “healthy” their food really is and I fantasize of a truly healthy drive thru; a place where you can easily get a pint or quart of freshly steamed, herbed veggies (that’s not just broccoli and carrots), where you can get a freshly broiled chicken breast cut into small pieces to go with your veggies, and a freshly brewed iced tea. Or better yet, where you can get where you can get grilled, lean, marinated steak and Portobello mushrooms and a lightly dressed slaw wrapped in lettuce leaves (like a wrap), with a light pesto-esque dipping sauce. In my mind, there is a market. I’m sure that if I were to ask the people in my life, they would say the same. But on the whole? Not so much. I highly doubt the majority of the people in America would partake of such a thing. Fast food, in their mind, means greasy, salty indulgences. Not, “quick, healthy, nutritious and tasty.” So, I’m going to let that go-ahead and be a dream… for now.

My next food order arrives tomorrow, and not a moment too soon. I’m ready. Ready to take on the next few months of this project. Ready to get more weight off. Ready to feel lighter and more energetic. Ready to keep moving forward. That’s ultimately what this is all about… to keep moving forward.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

My first OMG moment of the program!

It's been a little over a month since I began the Take Shape For Life program. To say that it has not been an easy month would be a ridiculous understatement. Work was utter hell, was trying to deal with selling a property in New York (that we've been trying to sell for a year and a half), and lots of weird health issues meant making the transition into the year of this program a less than smooth one. Still I feel pretty aclimated to the food and routine on most levels. Here's what's been going on...

Health: I have a lot more energy. No bones about that! Sometimes, so much so, that I feel a little "high". I'll chalk that up to the drastic change from being so "Blah" I could barely move (and rarely wanted to). Now the downside, something's throwing off my hormones in a really unhappy way. I've seen the doctor but all we can come up with is a vitamin deficiency, but I've had what feels akin to major PMS for a month. Wrenched back, constant spotting, pressure/bloating, major mood swings. One minute the pain's there, the next it's gone, then it's back, then it's gone, etc. NOT fun. It seems to be subsiding now. We'll see.

Hunger: Not hungry. I'm still not wanting to eat as much as I need to. Even tho most of it is drinking since I ran out of anything crunchy a week or so ago. I will say this, when I don't eat on time (and it's rare that I don't), I actually FEEL hungry. I wasn't experiencing that before, because I think I'd slowed my metabolism down so severely that it no longer sent me true hunger triggers. I'm still going through the struggle of "food = bad, less food = good" in my head. Intellectually I get it, but I guess it's still so planted in my psyche that it's like a frickin' weed! I keep working on it tho.


Naughty: Yup, I've fallen off the wagon once or twice. I'm not going to get upset about it either. I've got a year of this program and I'm going to make it, even if it means "training wheels." Also, I'm not ready to get up at 7:30 in the morning on my weekends just to eat. Not. Not at all. Nope! But once I get my next shipment, I AM willing to keep bars by my bedside, wake up, eat my bar, and go back to sleep. THAT I can do. The important thing is that during my waking hours I follow it. Even after a concert, sitting in an IHOP, staring at my piece of garlic toast and thinking I could get away with it. There was talk of having it taken away. I said, "No. I need to be a big girl about not eating that. It's not worth it."


Nice: Having told co-workers about my program has actually worked to my advantage thus far. It's kept me honest. They're rooting for me. People are starting to notice the difference and tell me so. Are there those who are making "suggestions" that won't work with the program? Sure. Of course. But for once, they seem reasonable about backing down. Noticing that my pants are much looser has been pretty sweet too. But the thing that I am currently wild about... my inner thighs. For a while, they had gotten so big that I could feel them pushing my legs apart when I walked. It was killing my hips. Now, not so much. I can totally feel the difference. That's making me pretty happy. If that's where I am 30 pounds down, I can't wait to feel what it's like 180 pounds down!


Truth: This program is not cheap and I am not wealthy. Having to come up with an alternate food budget on top of the program budget has thrown off the rest of my finances in a truly unpleasant way. I'm having to constantly borrow from next week to pay for something I need this week. My entertainment budget (which is more necessary than ever, considering that food was my entertainment up until recently), has all but vanished. I'm still trying to work that out. It's not easy. But most of that is because I don't make enough money. That's another something I'm working on.


Forward: Now that I've gotten an idea of what tastes good, what I can sustain myself on, etc, I think month #2 is going to go a lot smoother. The next shipment is all stuff I like enough to want to eat five times a day. The food I have to consume until it comes... oh LORD! It's gonna be a tough couple weeks!!! LOL


Stay tuned... more to come!